Fear of commitment has been said to b a common trait among my fellow members of the masculine race...however, in my case, usually different from others', i feel that i fear the fear of commitment...it's taken me much time and much self debate to establish this stance, but i've finally admitted that fear...i'm afraid of involving myself into a relationship where my significant other will eventually find another more significant...i dunno...one might call me a hopeless romantic...looking 4 that one girl that quenches my thirst for looking for "that one girl"...searching for a partner who will appreciate me just as much as I would them...hmph...foolish me for wishing so hard...i know it never really happens that way...its always something stopping me, something in my way...i swear it's as if something or someone is hindering me from living my life enjoyably...for some reason, when i do try my hand at love once more...it never happens right...i mean...i don't just go out and LOVE sum1 because i'm
trying to....i only do when i grow into it...but i go, and i date, and i share, and i talk, and i become the most considerate and affectionate person one can imagine...but what happens?...its thrown back in my face...twice have i been left for another dude (which, by the way, end up being completely wrong choices)***i'm fallin asleep but i'ma keep this short***...
Now...Will told Tiff to hook him up with one of her friends...she chose Priscilla...yes its my fault for not pushing up on her earlier, but she's a tuff one to understand (ambiguous is what i like to call it) so i waited until i knew for sure i can get her...no use gettin with a girl for a few months if its not worth it....and she IS...VERY beautiful girl...so now...i've chosen to attempt 2 get her...i forgot how...its been a while...i only love one, not many...don't konw wut to say...don't know wut to do....new book should be written..."Kicking Game for Dummies"...but, i told tiff not to do it...I want Priscilla...she may b my only hope to find a warm heart agian...so i shall probably find out tomorrow what she feels...i told Tiff to ask her how she feels, cuz i have no clue...all i know is that i don't wanna suffer a broken heart again...it hurts...the worst hurt possible...
Non Sequitor...i need to start writing again...i WANT to write...but i don't have a WHY to write...spoken word is my goal.....