My first point of attack is Christopher Lambert...
Who?
...You know who he is....That weird guy with that raspy, whispery voice....Usually plays some action movie guy....
Uhhhhh.....
You know...Rayden from Mortal Kombat...He played that Highlander dude; I think his name as Nash or something like that....
OHHHHHH....iight, I know who your talkin about....What about him now?
Yeah...Homeboy is frigin annoying to me...I dunno if it's the fact that he can't act, and yet and still he CONTINUOUSLY get's these piece of crap roles that Pee-Wee Herman(the character, not the actor who plays the character) could do better in....I mean really, if you got some low budget movie that got you HARDLY any fame...and then you TRY to take another stab at the series and you cast Mario Van Peebles in it, do you seriously EXPECT there to be some accolade for the daggum movie?....It's horrendous!!!
Word..word...Homeboy was kinda wack, dawg....Yo, don't he sound like he swallowed sand paper or something?...
Yeah...That's another thing, the guy sounds like he tried to audition for the part of an ex-smoker with one of those electronic voice box things...I mean COME ON!!!....Your not COOL enough to have a "trademark" to begin with, so give it up!!!...And it's in EVERY-SINGLE-MOVIE!!!....He does teh same crap in Beowulf, Highlander, Mortal Kombat, and any other half-behind title he acts in....Either DRINK a bottle of water, or go sit down man...thats all...Don't get up, tryna put on this "Mr Tough Guy" persona, and NOT even be able to pull it off...You're no Christopher Walken, ok?...Now THAT guy is cool....But you?..Hemph...You just look like a blager up there...
Blager?...What the hell is a bl--
Don't worry about it...Let's just move to the next idiot....His name is Chris, as you know, but which one?...(drumroll)...It's Chris Kurkpatrick!!!
Oh gosh...please, spare me the words...EVERYONE was offended when he tried to pull off those stupid dreads/braids/crap....Just say his name, and its "nuff said"....
True...True.....and you know what?...Ain't much Chris's out there to make it better...I mean, look at Christopher Reeve...The guy played SUPER-MAN!!!...
Word...home boy was ill...bendin steel with his bare hands yo...Dawg, if Clarke Kent was gangsta, he'd be breakin laws, get locked up, and break out same time...
Rrrrrrriiight....So ANYWAY...He was the Man of Steel...and what happened to him?...He fell off a horse and can't move anything below his neck...Sad...But WAY too ironic....Then you gotta look at Chris O'Donnell...Where is he now?
Word...Wasn't he that Robin dude in "Batman"?...I ain't know he did otehr stuff...
Yeah...got his 15minutes, and left...no one remembers his time in teh fame light...Chris Farley?..overdosed on cocaine...
Rest in piece, BigMan...
Chris Tucker....I dunno....He was funny in Friday...Did good in RushHour...Bit it's not his skill...its his VOICE....the guy sound like a schizophrenic seagull caught in a blender....
HAHAHAHAHA...yo that's ILL!!!...You clowned him dawg...HAHAHAHAHAHA....
Yeah..sure...ok...
Yo, I don't like how you be playin me, yo....
My fault, i apologize....but for real though....Name me some more, and i'll tell you something wrong with each and every last one of them.....
Ummmm...What about--
No, that wasn't meant to you...your not really supposed to answer that, the audience is....
Oh...dag....I feel dumb...ummm...right....ok....my fault, go ahead.....
And, what about the association between the name "Chris" and homosexuals?....That kinda disturbs me....You see, it's not that gay people disturb me...As far as I'm conscerned it's "You do you...and I do me"....But, it's still my birth name....There are a GREAT deal of homosexual Chris's out there...So much that a predominately gay are of Manhatten is actualy known "Christopher Street"...
It's aiight dawg...I know your not gay...we all do...
Yeah, I know...but still, it's a little discomforting, that's all....All of it I mean, not just the gay thing....All these Chris's in the daggum world, and hardly any to look up to...It's just ludicrous....
Heh heh....Nah, man...It's Ludi-Chris...heh heh heh.....